Editorial
authorIan Jacobs <ij@w3.org>
Tue, 31 Mar 2015 14:44:14 -0500
changeset 139 d7c5b5ff4335
parent 138 74b6711215cf
child 140 738d8d35717e
Editorial

In some cases of missing intro sentences, moved neutral-sounding
“Motivation” sentence to use cases intro sentence
latest/use-cases/index.html
--- a/latest/use-cases/index.html	Tue Mar 31 14:29:46 2015 -0500
+++ b/latest/use-cases/index.html	Tue Mar 31 14:44:14 2015 -0500
@@ -1656,7 +1656,7 @@
 
         <dl class="dl-horizontal">
           <dt>Payee-initiated</dt>
-          <dd>
+          <dd>Some payments are initiated by the payee:
             <ul>
               <li>
 Richard choses to pay using a credit card at FlowerFriends. FlowerFriends
@@ -1677,8 +1677,7 @@
           <dt>Motivation</dt>
           <dd>
 Payee-initiated payments, also known as "pull payments" or
-"four corner model payments", are widely deployed and utilized today. Not
-supporting this mechanism would be fatal to any potential standard.
+"four corner model payments", are widely deployed and utilized today.
           </dd>
           <dt>Privacy / Security</dt>
           <dd>
@@ -1697,7 +1696,7 @@
 
         <dl class="dl-horizontal">
           <dt>Payer-initiated</dt>
-          <dd>
+          <dd>Some payments are initiated by the payer:
             <ul>
               <li>
 Once Sally has signed into PayPal to pay, PayPal initiates payment processing.
@@ -1706,7 +1705,7 @@
 Joakim uses his Bitcoin wallet to send money to his friend.
               </li>
               <li>
-Carson (in the New York City) sends money to Vladamir (in Moscow) using
+Carson (in New York City) sends money to Vladamir (in Moscow) using
 his Ripple client, which converts the currency from US Dollars to Rubels in
 transit.
               </li>
@@ -1749,7 +1748,7 @@
           </dd>
           <dt>Motivation</dt>
           <dd>
-Delivering services or products that are difficult to "undo", such
+Delivering services or products that are difficult to "undo," such
 as performing an oil change, dispensing fuel, or renting a car or hotel
 room are examples of situations which may require a two-part
 <a>transaction</a>.
@@ -1772,7 +1771,7 @@
             <dt>Motivation</dt>
             <dd>
 A <a>payee</a> may want to limit access to certain services to only those
-that they know can afford the good or service because the act of engaging the
+who they know can afford the good or service because the act of engaging the
 <a>payer</a> may be costly.
             </dd>
           </dl>
@@ -1787,10 +1786,10 @@
 
         <dl class="dl-horizontal">
           <dt>Proofs</dt>
-          <dd>
+          <dd>Goods and services may be released at different times depending on the type of <a>transaction</a> being performed:
             <ul>
               <li>
-Zhang Wei orders 10 large boxes of red envelopes from an online shop in
+Zhang Wei orders 10 large boxes of envelopes from an online shop in
 Tianjin. He uses an escrow service to provide a proof of escrow to the
 online shop in order to get them to initiate the shipment.
               </li>
@@ -1800,7 +1799,7 @@
 proof of payment to send him the chocolates.
               </li>
               <li>
-RockinRadio, SmoothSounds, and classicallyClassic are independent specialized
+RockinRadio, SmoothSounds, and classicallyClassic are independent, specialized
 music streaming services. They accept proof of <a>purchase</a> from each other
 to provide a track that is in their online streaming catalogue even if it was
 originally bought from another provider.
@@ -1819,8 +1818,7 @@
           </dd>
           <dt>Motivation</dt>
           <dd>
-Goods and services may be released at different times depending on the type
-of <a>transaction</a> being performed. At times, it's safe to release a good
+At times, it is safe to release a good
 when the payment network acknowledges that the funds are on their way. At other
 times, it's not safe to release a good or service until it has been proven that
 the funds are sitting in the <a title="payee">payee's</a> financial
@@ -1842,10 +1840,11 @@
 
         <dl class="dl-horizontal">
           <dt>Variation of Delay</dt>
-          <dd>
+          <dd>When a <a>transaction</a> occurs, the time it takes to transmit and receive
+funds often vary according to the <a>payment scheme</a>:
             <ul>
               <li>
-Sophie uses a credit card to buy some gifts for her parents and the shop has
+Sophie uses a credit card to buy some gifts for her parents. The shop has
 access to the funds in three days.
               </li>
               <li>
@@ -1853,13 +1852,13 @@
 to the funds in 7 days.
               </li>
               <li>
-Felicity has chosen Bitcoin to pay for glasses online, so the store
+Felicity has chosen Bitcoin to pay for glasses online. The store
 that sells the glasses has almost guaranteed access to the funds within
 15 minutes.
               </li>
               <li>
-Vanessa uses Ripple to <a>purchase</a> a new work outfit in US Dollars and
-funds are made available within a few minutes to OnlineWorkClothes in Euro.
+Vanessa uses Ripple to <a>purchase</a> a new work outfit in US Dollars.
+Funds in Euros are available to OnlineWorkClothes within a few minutes.
               </li>
             </ul>
           </dd>
@@ -1871,11 +1870,6 @@
 Automatability,
 and rapid, widespread adoption.
           </dd>
-          <dt>Motivation</dt>
-          <dd>
-When a <a>transaction</a> occurs, the time it takes to transmit and receive
-funds often vary according to the <a>payment scheme</a>.
-          </dd>
           <dt>Exceptions</dt>
           <dd>
 If the funds are sent but never received, then the <a>payee</a> will
@@ -1945,9 +1939,9 @@
           <dt>Virtual Goods</dt>
           <dd>
 When Lilith buys music from a band at MusicBox and then goes to their
-website to download additional content, no account is required, just a
-proof of <a>purchase</a> that is sent to the band's website, after which the
-site gives Lilith a link to download the additional content.
+Web site to download additional content, no account is required, just a
+proof of <a>purchase</a> that is sent to the band's website, after which 
+MusicBox provides Lilith a link to download the additional content.
           </dd>
           <dt>Goals</dt>
           <dd>